soMethinG CrossinG My Mind: i need you...i still need you in my life...

i need you...i still need you in my life...

actually, i am still in gloomy mood..since last week, ayah was admitted into hospital, my eyes started to cry...i persuaded myself to believe that it is not too serious since on that day actually ayah hd an appntment with a specialist due to the previous blood test...along accompanied him to hospital and he also told dr. that he got chest pain at the early morning..he also complained that the medicine given by dr. for his knees does not suit with him since it caused him vomits due after ate the medicine..then, dr. proposed him to stay in the hospital for 2days...

me, myself thought tht ws only a normal pain...but, dr discovered tht he was actually suffered fm minor heart attack! dr. said it was a big relief since he asked ayah to stay in hospital..then, ayah was placed in CCU...i went back to melaka on tuesday wif my bro in law..at tht time, drs. are doing minor operation on ayah...to put a so-called tiny cam into his blood vessals...to investigate on his heart's condition...then, nurse called ibu and said, the operation is over..and ayah is in ccu...me, n ibu went in...ayah is not totally concious...mybe that was due to e bius...when ayah asked me" asal balik? xde cls ke?", then my tears just dropping...i cant even look at his face...n even cant answer his questions...i saw, he also close his eyes...i knw, he also sme like me...

then, i kiss him...then, i asked him, "ayah sakit lg x?" as a usual answer, "x lr...ayah ok je"... he is my ayah...alwys said "i'm okay"..he doesnt want we worry bout him...TT

the result of tht minor operation? 1 of his heart's vessal is totally blocked...1 more is too narrow and anther 1 is starting to b narrower...tht is hte reason y the blood cant move easily...on thursday, ayah then moved to normal ward..

dr. suggest to us n ayah for bypass surgery...dr. adviced us to do bypass bcoz the risk wld be less..only 6prcents..this is better, bcoz if the surgury will be doing after the 2nd heart attck, the risk also will be higher..supposedly, it was scheduled on this tuesday...means, tomrrw...but, since ayah's body was not totally fitted for the surgery, coz he is coughing and suffers asthma, then the surgery was posponed to thursday...

but, this evening, i called ibu, n ask bout her n ayah's health, ibu told me, "ayah pnye operation kne tangguh lg.."...y? coz, dr. discovered tht drh ayah de kuman...so, it is quite dangerous if the surgery be done on him...tmrw, dr. will tke air fm his backbone...serious..i cnt imagine hw painfull he will...sedih...n bypass surgery will only can be continued after the dr. cn cnfirm that the blood is free from infectious..



sdih? of course sdih...sdih coz xdpt sme2 ngn ibu...ibu nmpk je tough, but in her inner side, i knw she is worries n crying...ibu alwys said, "doakn untuk ayah..wat solat hajat n bce yassin..ni sume qada' n qadar...kite kne tabah n redha"... seriously, sedih...i feel dumb! speechless...smtimes, rse nk cuti sem je...or if i can, rse cm nk quit je..but knwing tht it will be a stupid decision, then i stopped thinking...this is my dream, ayah n ibu's hopes tht sooner i'll become a lawyer...only a few months b4 i cn get that title...i shld not ruin their dream...ibu n ayah lr the persons yg slalu bg aku smgat...xble imagine if both of them xde...

"AZAH, U SHLD BE STRONG! TOUGH! REMEMBER THAT, ALLAH IS ALWAYS WITH YOU!"

nota kaki: guys, doakan my ayah selamat n sihat k...

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6 comments:

deqyalalink said...

doakan yang terbaik utk ayah

Miss J said...

sbar yer yayang..
i will pray 4 ur dad.
insya-Allah..xde pe2 yg akn jd..
be strong!!!!!

Lina Chan said...

azah be strong ok...aku faham perasaan ko sb aku pnh lalui yg sama..
slalu doakan kebaikan ayah ko and be strong untk ibu ko..

insyallah..everything will be ok :)

azah hj zainal said...

deqyalalink=thanx..alwys pray for him..

yangg=sedih lr..but thnx k...
i'm trying to be strong...

lina=aku fhm...wktu2 tu, aku sntiasa igt...thnx..

Lina Chan said...

aku tau ko sorg yang tabah... :)

azah hj zainal said...

insyaAllah..=)

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